Sunday, February 13, 2011


The boss and I are starting up an online feud to see if it drives traffic. Nothing says "sales" like internet drama! Here's today's battle:

Adam: @SJAdamsBooks: You have a potty mouth, you do a lousy job giving the interns their baths, and your work is highly derivative of mine!

SJ: @adamselzer You couldn't clean those interns with a sandblaster. Also, your books are FLUFFY! lThe trade reviews were wrong! #SJvsAdamFeud

Adam: @SJAdamsBooks I'm critically acclaimed, noodle-loaf. YOU'RE the one who told me only trade reviews count! Also: you pancakes suck.

SJ: @adamselzer nice typo! As usual. Mr. "I Forgot How Many Voyages Columbus Made When the Book Went to Print." #SjvsAdamFeud

Adam: @SJAdamsBooks Well, I SAID he made 3 voyages, and eh did. He also happened to make a fourth one. YOU were the fact checker. #SjvsAdamFeud

SJ: @adamselzer Not to quote Ronald Reagan or anything, but THERE YOU GO AGAIN with the typos! #SJvsAdamFeud

SJ: And are you ever gonna FINISH that Satanic YA novel, or just say "eh, there's no market for boy books" and quit, quitter? #SjvsAdamFeud

Adam: @SJAdamsBooks: This is all because I made you get up at 5 for calisthenics, isn't it? Sorry, I believe in physical fitness. #SJvsAdamFeud

Adam: @SJAdamsBooks And you'll be glad you're in shape next time a group of irate Civil War re-enactors show up at HQ #SjvsAdamFeud

Adam: @SJAdamsBooks or a band of bloggers who are made that I (spoiler - sj knows what) and had a main character who started out mean #itwasaredemptionstorypeople!

SJ: @adamselzer Okay. Fair point, there. We drill for a reason. I just need some coffee. Let's go get some coffee #SJvsAdamFeud

Adam: @SJAdamsBooks I'll just have the interns make it. Now let's all go out for frosty chocolate milkshakes! #SjvsAdamFeud

SJ: @adamselzer <3 milkshakes. But we still got beef, Chief. Just SEE if I put "Extraordinary" in an IMM post when I start those! #SJvsAdamFeud

Adam: @SJAdamsBooks Weren't you just joking that you were going to photograph all our junk mail and call it an In My Mailbox Post?

SJ: @adamselzer All my junk mail, plus your new book :) Coffee. Now. Please. Then we'll get to work, Chief.

Adam: @SJAdamsBooks After coffee, we'll settle this like civilized people: Circus Atari!

SJ: @adamselzer I will bury you so deep at Circus Atari even Columbo wouldn't be able to solve the case. You're on!

SJ: @adamselzer And when we get back, we'll see how many sales you racked up from all this drama. YAY!.


- We watch a lot of Columbo at HQ these days. Adam talks like him sometimes. We also play a LOT of Circus Atari. We are FIERCE at Circus Atari.

- We expected a lot of mail pointing out errors in SMART ALECK"S GUIDE TO AMERICAN HISTORY. There've only been a couple, though, and all for pretty minor stuff (not counting the "civil war was not about slavery" brigade).

- While I'm on the subject, you know which kinds of bloggers were most likely to feature that book? LIbrarians and right winger. The first we expected, the latter is kinda out of left field for us. They tend to say that we "expose the lies about our history that the government has forced on us" or some such. Which we don't, though we DO expose how ridiculous the guys who talk about "what our founding fathers intended" are. As though the Founding Fathers all had the same philosophy or something! See our video!

For some reason, that video was set to "private" up until now. Searching for an intern to blame now.

See our other videos!

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