Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Smart Aleck Staff Survives a Near Attack

We knew when we were working on THE SMART ALECK'S GUIDE TO AMERICAN HISTORY that we were going to run afoul of a few Civil War buffs. See, there are a lot of them who insist that the war had nothing whatsoever to do with slavery. And that's just silly. Sure, you could argue that it wasn't really a Northern crusade against slavery, and that most soldiers probably didn't care much about it one way or the other, but all of the states who issued articles of secession made it VERY clear that they were seceding mainly to prolong the institution of slavery.

Now, we get the odd letter, but never had an actual attack...until today. Here's how it went down on twitter:

SJAdamsBooks: Group of Civil War re-enactors gathered outside of Smart Aleck HQ. In gray. More coming up Grand Ave. This can't be good.  #CivilWar2?

SJAdamsBooks: @adamselzer ordered us onto lock-down; I'm on look-out duty. They're calling us yankee revisionist pigs. And they look stinky. #civilwar2?

SJAdamsBooks: Can we handle irate civil war buffs who insist slavery had nothing to do with the war? Armed ones? Hey, man... we drill for this! #civilwar2

SJAdamsBooks: At least we can fight these dudes without proton packs. Most battles we fight for Adam involve proton packs.  #civilwar2?

SJAdamsBooks: Gotta say, though, there are some FANTASTIC mustaches among our would-be conquerors...more coming... battle stations, all! #civilwar2?

SJAdamsBooks:  We are outnumbered, and having the facts on our side won't win us this battle. But @adamselzer says we're going down fighting. #civilwar2?

SJAdamsBooks: Ranks outside are growing. They're shouting something about "state's rights." Very mad at us for over the civil war chapter. #civilwar2

SJAdamsBooks: And they won't just be debated...we may have to fight this out. We drill for this, but not for a group this size....  #civilwar2

SJAdamsBooks:  Our fearless leader, @adamselzer , is going to make a speech before our battle with the civil war re-enactors gathered outside #civilwar2?

SJAdamsBooks: Uh..is it REALLY St. Crispian's day? @adamselzer says it's St. Crispian's day. Making the speech from Henry V. What a maroon.  #civilwar2?

SJAdamsBooks: Note: the same speech is in Adam's next book. Shouted out by kids driving a Wells Fargo Wagon full of unicorn poop thru Des Moines. Really.

SJAdamsBooks: "Extraordinary: The True Story of My Fairy Godparent, Who Almost Killed Me, and Certainly never made me a princess"  11/2011

SJAdamsBooks: ( 50 suck-up points, please, boss) </shameless plug>  (he's STILL speaking to inspire us pre-battle...who's he think he is? Edward Everett?)

SJAdamsBooks: It's a St. Crispian's Day miracle! Civil War re-enactors disbursing. Adam thinks it's because of his emotional speech and song. #civilwar2?

SJAdamsBooks:  I think they responded more to my telling them that the first Chicago Chick-fil-a is about to open on Chicago and Wabash.  #civilwar2?

SJAdamsBooks:  Glory, glory hallelujah! The smart aleck staff lives to fight another day! I never doubted it. We drill for this, you know.

Actually Civil War re-enactors are mentioned (and not negatively) in SPARKS.  What they do is held up as a classic example of "practical time travel," a hobby of one character.

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